Education of Malaysia

Schools in Malaysia educate the children to become high achievers; eg. to be able to create the HIGHEST pile of pirated VCDs, the LONGEST line of cows, or even the BIGGEST Ramly burger. To achieve the best of the best results, school children are made to carry huge bags containing heavy books and other heavy items every day to school. This builds up their back muscles and backbone so that they will not only look great, but also have an excellent overall support of the body. If you disagree with this, you are not patriotik! “After School Tuition” is a must, all Malaysian students must go to tuition classes to get the latest tips (scoring 100 points). Most tuition teachers can provide students with good tips.

The education system will at one point stream the children according to what theyre good at. Children who are weird or nerdy will be streamed towards science, while those who are not nerdy enough and are actually normal will be streamed to the arts. Those who are only good at sports …well, who cares about them. As you can see, the Malaysian education system is kind enough to dictate your future for you.

Learning about IT is fun in Malaysia. In a normal statement of networking such as “server serving clients which have joysticks connected” can easily be understood as “Pelayan melayan pelanggan yang mempunyai kayu keseronokan yang disambung” (The server is serving her clients who have “joy” sticks connected). To increase IT awareness, a song was created that went ‘sukkaaaa IT… cintaaaa IT… kenallll IT… ohhhh IT’. This is a FIRST for any nation in the world and will be put in the Malaysia Book of Records! Malaysia Boleh!

Examinations are widely ignored in Malaysia, with the teachers given autonomy to teach however and whatever they like. Popular classes (because yes, Malaysians are given a choice of classes from kindergarten onwards) include Lepak 101 and Seduction 69. It is an unheard of feat for one to score straight As in one’s exams; indeed, students who accomplish such a feat frequently commit suicide.

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